Here we go!

First, thanks so much to those of you who reached out to me “offline.” I am SO grateful the Lord has given me such a loving community and that there are resources that hubsy has agreed to take advantage of. Everything is just hunky dory now.

Let me catch you up on what’s been happening since then….

I am still sad that I won’t have my own bio kid but I don’t cry nearly as much about it as I used to. It took me a long time to realize that I am NOT the driver of this bus and that I had to just let go and give up control. Because, I am NOT in control. None of us are. God is the driver. When things are going good, when things are going bad and when things are just boring, God is the driver. The more I accept this, the more at peace I feel. Sometimes I do a little exercise. You can do it with me…

Stand up and stretch your arms out as wide as they will go. Close your eyes and tip your head back. Now..… relax. Feel your chest rise to the sky as your shoulder blades move toward one another. Can you feel the sun on your face? Can you feel the offering up of yourself to the Lord? Feel the warmth suffuse your body. You have no control. You don’t need any. God has got your back and will be driving from here on out. Doesn’t that feel good?

Now, news!

Hubsy and I have been making lots of progress on our adoption journey. We decided to go with the adoption agency everyone at our church uses because, duh, it’s a no-brainer. For the past month or so, we’ve been busy bees filling out LOTS and LOTS of pesky forms. So many forms, I can’t even…

But we did it! Because we are a TEAM (and stronger than ever!).

So…. Here’s our big, honking piece of news…

We have decided on an international adoption!

🎆

Pretty much from the beginning we had decided that we wanted to adopt a white baby. (Well, that is what I decided.) I have no problem whatsoever with the idea or notion of adopting a black baby (I think they are just the cutest!) but I just felt like it wouldn’t be fair if we did. We just haven’t had the opportunity to get any black friends and I just had to ask myself, “Who is going to be a role model for the poor little black baby we adopt?” That was the question I kept coming back to time and time again.

Our adoption counselor was adamant that it would be pretty difficult to adopt a white infant, domestically, and that we should really consider international adoption. But all I could think about was those poor Russian babies whose parents were alcoholics and who nobody ever held at the orphanage, all of which lowered their IQ (dumb dumbs) and made them nutso. I just didn’t have it in me to take that on.

Some people say I’m hardheaded and I guess I am because our adoption counselor really had to drive it home, saying, with our resources, even with a loan from the church, if we didn’t want a child of color that we had to look outside the US.

Hubsy thought it would just turn out okay no matter what, that we should just give in and take one of the black infants, but I got down on my knees, put my hands together and prayed over it. I just knew that our Almighty Father would lead me in the right direction like He always does. I believed that the Lord God would deliver unto me a child…

And you’ll never believe what happened……